We have to approach when we can and if she doesn't smile and get chatty within 5 seconds, excuse yourself and get back to your own business. For me it's very much that I've been trained that women don't want to be approached at work, at the gym, waiting for the bus, etc. This weekend I went clubbing with my Asian (who I shall refer as to Una) friend and half Asian/half latina (Dos) friend. I can say from absolute experience that this is not true. Because it's much easier to build a serious relationship with an honest person and there is no risk that they will lie to you. I’ve been single for a year and only been asked on two dates - both I had to semi initiate...I’m starting to get resentful about the lack of proper attention I receive. The people who claim you shouldn't approach in [situation] are a tiny but vocal minority. It’s done by getting rid of all the bullshit beliefs and habits you have that have been holding you back. Some guys lack communication skills to approach women and think it has to be in a certain setting. im too ugly. He tries to get her to like him, before she is attracted to him . Plenty of men who I personally didn’t find attractive (we all have our ‘types’) spoke to me and I was happy to chat back, because one never knows. And I don't get it a lot because I just assume the person couldn't possibly be hitting on me. Just fake it, that's what I did. Don’t let the sheer fear of rejection stop you from getting a nice girlfriend. Actively try and find solutions to your problems rather than consulting internet strangers for pity points. It's very likely there are some number of guys in the world who think your nose is the hottest thing since Victoria Secret underwear, but there are probably 100 times that number who don't even realize it's any different and who don't understand why you feel bad about it. So there's no way to stay away from it. Anonymous #1 #10 Report Thread starter 11 years ago #10 Okay, I tried to be more forward last weekend. if a guy ever came up to me and said hi, i would think he lost a bet and wouldn't take him seriously. why? 2. You need to read the body language and get the hint when she doesn't want to talk, some people have a hard time just telling you straight up when you're not wanted. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, A subreddit to discuss and vent about the dating process and learn from the experiences of others, Press J to jump to the feed. and then they stop talking to me. The girl that gets approached is the one that can make guys around her feel comfortable going up to them. C. No, they prefer my friends. For example, you say that you "can't speak" and experience inability to communicate normally when attractive men are around. I felt horrible about it.). So it could be a lot of things. Guys WANT to approach you, but if we approached every girl we though was attractive we’d never get anywhere because that’s all we’d be doing. i wish i could be pretty. Thankfully, women definitely don’t reject good men in favor of bad men. i'd pay a few thousand bucks to be pretty. Men don’t just go around and tell every woman what a great lover she is. ... you can learn to turn them … Do guys stumble over to talk to you? Men, on the other hand, have a predisposition to find women attractive. men won't want me unless im attractive. if you seem like you are busy, guy won’t want to approach you. Then I found out ghosting is usually what happens after the cute girl says yes or we just sort of talk off and on for months/years while I occasionally ask "are you free?" I love when people talk to me at the gym or smile and greet me when I'm out walking. B. ... Those blessed with naturally plump lips … Guys love to pretend we are uncomplicated because it ties into the old stereotypes of what masculinity is supposed to be about, but I promise we are just as complicated as anyone else. For me, I approach girls semi frequently, I’m not scared of rejection, but if they haven’t given me some sign that they’re ok with me walking over to them you can forget it. i hate looking in the mirror. ... I’m An Attractive, Successful Woman And Men Don’t … it will help me know those i should be making an effort for. If you act like you have a boyfriend, no guy will want to approach you because they don’t think they’ll have any luck. [–]drewisbeast567 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (4 children). There are women out there who will literally pick a random stranger they never even met and make up an accusation. Do you participate in any of that? Honey, I am not even ugly, and I had absolutely no luck landing a dude my freshman year of college. Oh, but not for you. that was in middle/high school of course. Your physical appearance probably has less of an impact on other people's perception of you, in comparison to your behavior. Me … In fact, a lot of women have negative experiences when it comes to sexual feedback. Only obnoxious dudes approach everyone, because they don’t care about possibly making someone uncomfortable. Instead, I focus on getting to know someone in a shared activity, and only after I know them would I then approach them. So you haven’t had much luck with women and have resigned yourself to believing ‘girls just don’t like me’. #1 Report Thread starter 5 years ago #1 I'm 19 and never had a boyfriend. Just because you haven't see By this we mean a specific feature of yours that others may find attractive, such as your long legs or your plump lips. then i would be a little less ugly than i currently am. i feel like you only find love if you're pretty. Wrong! it's the sad truth. Please do not offer or ask for any financial donations. The unique swagger that comes from walking in heels also causes men to find women more attractive, apparently. [–]mayflowerpenguin[S] 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (3 children). Writer. Conversely, a 20-year-old woman will be most attracted to a 23-year-old-man … The unique swagger that comes from walking in heels also causes men to find women more attractive, apparently. For you it’s normal to be told how good having sex with you is. i was always that "shy ugly girl" and i hate myself for it. Find your group chat here >> start new discussion reply. And no, none of what I just said is "rape culture." I started to look for other qualities IF the attraction is at least a 6. I am attracted to white and Asian guys but I feel like white guys don't find me attractive. i'd to it. But of course, don't forget about being tactful. Tldw (it’s only like five mins, not bad at all you should): men don’t want to be creepy. And, I don’t find younger men mentally attractive. Thank you. after a couple of hours as I was about to leave, I saw him and decided to go say goodbye, he told me to stay and have a drink with him but my friends boyfriend was already on his way so I said I had to go but would love to see him another time - we’ve texted on and off for a few weeks and he hasn’t asked me out. I don’t believe this is the case - but my friends seem to think that guys will not approach me because they are scared of rejection. If you’ve noticed some or all of these qualities in yourself don’t worry, you can learn to turn them around and become the guy women find attractive. and join one of thousands of communities. This is to help those who have gained a lot of holiday weight, or who've just gained a lot of weight in general, and are having problem in dealing with it. and then they stop talking to me. if a man friendzones you, it's because of your looks. I don't know who these men are...but they could be out there. Christine Schoenwald . people who are attractive dont know how hard it is to be ugly. If your post isn't up within a couple of minutes, copy the link of your submission and message the mods with it to let us know it's in the spam filter. Until then, happy hunting. Of course, don't try to change yourself to make anyone happy. I can't up upvote enough. (the reason I posted this pic is so no one here tells me go to the gym because I already do and it hasn't helped me to get a girl to find me attractive after almost a year now) im really just depressed , don't know what to do anymore . if i was pretty noone would say "hey let's just be friends". If you would like to get off the ban list you can message the mods. Men on Reddit have been furiously adding to an Ask Men thread entitled: ‘What is something women think makes them more attractive to men while men think it makes them less attractive?’ When I was more mature it was because I genuinely thought we didn't have much of an emotional bond. This isn’t done by adding on layers to try and become a different person. For example, a dance class or a recreational sports team. Good-looking men are assumed to have better personalities, more rewarding careers, and more fulfilling life experiences (Dion … It used to frustrate me when I was younger, but then I just decided to embrace it. every time i see a pretty woman i get so fucking jealous. If they had gotten some honest feedback and then made some changes, they might have looked exponentially more attractive to men. 2. Secondly, it sounds like you're waiting on guys to come after you. If you’re surrounded by guy friends, GWWTAY. Yeah, in modern times, guys can’t just cold approach without being called a creep, or a even worse like catching a case for harassment or something like that. You're better off ignoring it entirely and just do your best to be a decent person. Una likes them latino and Dos and I like them white. Nobody likes me”…. WHY?! Anecdotal evidence aside, I know for a fact that I don't find "hot" men attractive. However, after about a year of keeping at it I had gone from 210 Lb. I love Matthew Hussey. If you are removed for being too harsh in posts and you believe it was done unfairly, please message the mods. this article is absolutely amazing! Welcome to the life of a wallflower. We also do not allow submissions posted simply to be funny. To learn more about how to flirt without being sleazy , get more dates, develop confident body language, and overcome your approach anxiety in just 5 days, check out The Art of Charm Bootcamp. Coming from a former ugly person, it gets better, I promise. However, this doesn’t immediately discount women with pixie cuts or bobs as less attractive. My friends get hit on and I actually see guys checking them out, but never happens to me… Well thought and well written. nowadays it's all about the looks. I'd only approach if I get the right signals, if not then I wouldn't try. Don’t miss that opportunity. Furthermore, each man … It's hard but it works. If you're afraid of getting hit by #metoo, there's nothing you can do. There's nothing wrong with it, however, being like that make guys more reluctant to date you. Her weight problems, on the other hand, may also impact her fertility; For this reason, most guys don’t usually go for women who have a larger waist-to-hips ratio. Very attractive, don’t find most men attractive. Stay away from glittery or shimmering eye makeup and NEVER use clumpy mascara. After viewing videos of women walking in both heels and flat shoes, the participants in the study rated the heel-wearing women as "significantly more attractive." No. most people think "lol what's wrong with her nose" and "lol she is so quiet and awkward". Looking through your post history, you seem to suffer from some sort of depression or other mental health issues. When I was in high school and college I barely noticed the blonde-haired, blue-eyed girls. After viewing videos of women walking in both heels and flat shoes, the participants in the study rated the heel-wearing women as "significantly more attractive." It's more attractive to look at and feels nicer to touch when it's free of gels or sticky products. If you are always walking everywhere in a haste, guys won’t want to approach you. Do an informal interview with a friend or mentor who will lovingly tell you some of the good things you bring to the table and some of the areas where you need to change. Rendered by PID 20040 on r2-app-02b3e9ac3f5a31c62 at 2021-01-09 01:29:29.603524+00:00 running d8cca48 country code: GB. It is a safe place to be where you don’t have to face other people, hold a conversation, or face rejection. This is the place to talk about it. Quiz: How Attractive Are You? * Let me clarify - I find them pleasing to the eye, and every so often quite tempting, but I don't find myself actually attracted to them. but that doesnt change the fact that i am ugly and men want women that are pretty.. i don't believe that people my age focus on character. that was in middle/high school of course. Not gay. Women Find 80% Of Men Unattractive, Says Crazy Study. In the middle of a set at the gym, if she has earbuds or headphones, if she's walking rapidly or running to wherever she's going etc... Just say hi, introduce yourself, make a little smalltalk, be friendly. every time i see a couple i want to cry. now guys don't talk to me at all. Of course, none of the guys are going to find you all that attractive either. Others might even think that you are tired of getting too much attention. In one word, confidence. Just a new way to view rejection. i just cant imagine anyone deciding to talk to me, when there are so many other girls around me who are a thousand times prettier. I'm 27 years old and now sober for the first time in 12 years. Go to first unread Skip to page: lachachacha Badges: 16. elena October 17, 2018, 1:18 pm. if a man friendzones you, it's because of your looks. Don't go through it alone! because im not worth it. Here are some of the many reasons why good guys get rejected by women: 1. 2 years ago. Most attractive women are attracted to abusive men. i feel so lonely. Just because no one whistles at you as you cross a street, doesn't mean some other women do not enjoy it. If you want to help but can't think of the words or don't have time, vote them up to draw more attention to it so that others can find and help them. 1. Men and women don’t find the same things attractive. According to the study, guys found "a female voice sounded attractive when it was breathy" and "moderately high-pitched." So it's a mistake and they're just making polite small talk as part of their job or something. noone will ever love me or find me attractive (self.MMFB), submitted 2 years ago * by mayflowerpenguin. That said, try working on building your confidence. 8. The club was having a Peruvian … ... That's great and you absolutely have to make … Trust me, people mature a lot after high school. You don't have to go as deep as Scarlett Johansson's voice, but her voice might be more attractive to most men than, say, Kim Kardashian's voice. or Create Personality Quiz. There are women today who look a lot better and younger with the right short haircut. What Carolyn Says: Well, I have naturally curly hair so don't fucking touch it. © 2021 reddit inc. All rights reserved. Here’s an example of a time I semi-initiated and it semi-failed - there’s a guy I’ve known for a few years (don’t know him well) who I’ve always found attractive, every time I see him out, I make sure to say hello and be friendly...a few weeks ago I saw him out, said hello etc. 8 Questions | By JasmineB98 | Last updated: Nov 6, 2020 | Total Attempts: 5118 . 2. Please report comments you find to be overly rude or offensive. When I was less mature it was because I was too wrapped up in my own insecurities and was afraid she wasn't really as into me as she acted. Spending time with someone who is always a sad sock becomes draining over time, and eventually they pull away so that they can spend time with other, more positive individuals. A. People decided for themselves whether they wanted to add a comment to the Reddit thread. But I'm sure you knew that- you just didn't want to. Again, if I approached girls only based off the fact that they’re attractive or I’m interested I’d be doing nothing but that. In fact, a lot of women have negative experiences when it comes to sexual feedback. I'd think you're incredibly attractive...trust me. I don’t believe this is the case - but my friends seem to think that guys will not approach me because they are scared of rejection. instead theyre like "uhh.. no thanks, i'll pass". This is in no way me claiming to be super attractive - I’m average, but I know I dress nicely and am good with hair/makeup so pull myself together reasonably well. i lost count of how many times a guy said to me "i noticed that youre interested in me but i just see you as a friend". This may not happen much, but if you’re naturally a very attractive person, it can be difficult for a guy to approach you. Otherwise, we will try to check as often as possible to get it out. Oh, but not for you. What is it that you are doing wrong? Self confidence is extremely attractive. Do Guys Find Me Attractive? Been there. I have had a shitty college experience at age 25, Putting Boundaries Up w/ Friends and Then Regretting It. Please don't expect guys to just approach you without you having to put any effort into the social situation. And here I have to admit that I am undoubtedly judging their books by their covers, but I have yet to find the exception to the rule. … They love it when you love sex and when you are passionate about it as much as they are. then even if you are very attractive, most guys won’t bother with you. In general the guys that have been attracted to me have been shorter. i feel worthless. Talk amongst fellow Redditors who would be happy to help. This subreddit is also great for those who get gratification out of helping others. Definitely! Guys don’t like rejection and if they ask a girl out and she says no, it often takes months before he’ll try again! noone will ever love me or find me attractive. Well, most men. * Let me clarify - I find them pleasing to the eye, and every so often quite tempting, but I don't find myself actually attracted to them. It doesn’t help that I do draw a lot of attention based on my looks so I have a strong idea of how attractive I am. In my experience, women have a fairly narrow view of what they consider beautiful in other women. ... THEN women will find me attractive. That said, it is possible that you are the hawt girl, and not know it. 8 Questions | By JasmineB98 | Last updated: Nov 6, 2020 | Total Attempts: 5118 . So, it kind of bothers me when I see someone who is a fat piece of shit but they refuse to date anyone who is fat and refuse to lose weight. In my case I don't do it because I am well aware of the fact I'll get rejected. That’s why, if a person who you consider to be a good … Minimal makeup is sexier. I just get so jealous and sad because some women can go out to a simple place such as the grocery store or gas station and have guys ask for their number but that never happens to me. I don't look. He tries to get her to like him, before she is attracted to him. maybe then someone will talk to me. ... i think i am a good-looking person but i still want to know if others find me attractive. No matter how selective a woman might be, some have strict physical attributes from their must-haves list, as an OkCupid study found that women find 80 percent of men unattractive. I am 5'4 and 120 lbs and my sister tells me all the time that I don't have a boyfriend because I don't go out a lot but I do go out a lot (I am in college and I am out and about everywhere). Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. [–]PaxDramaticus 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (2 children). In these places, unwanted advances can be considered harassment. Just participate in what you like and make an effort to talk to the other participants, especially the guys. I realize that we can’t always have it all and finally, I am okay with that. I agree with the old Southern saying that “there is a lid for every pot.” ... Vestus virum reddit. And I'm afraid the answer is to exit your comfort zone and go speak to people. I'm still insecure, still don't regard myself as attractive, and still feel like an outcast in most social situations. Be Supportive If what you're saying is having a negative impact on someone seeking support, your comments may be removed, and you may be banned. Let me give you an example. So...a grocer approached me last week and I couldn't tell if he was making small talk as part of his job or if it was sincere flirting, but I ended up panicking and "running". Get active and get involved, its the best way to improve a bad situation. Remember, foundation is supposed to be invisible to others and blend in with your skin. Hope that helped! You should just try to find your people right now, even if they’re ever just friends, building a support network is important to getting through life, and college. It takes a long time of catching yourself and correcting your thinking to change these inherent beliefs you have about your self, and what your saying aren’t objective truths, their your opinion. I saw that video somad like few years ago and I have still always like really agree with it. they would AT LEAST try to have sex with me. More Attractive Quizzes. Shutterstock. Women are often thought of as picky, especially where men … Why? So, it sounds like you're in a thought spiral. I am attracted to white and Asian guys but I feel like white guys don't find me attractive. So, pick yourself up off of the fucking floor and get some help. now guys don't talk to me at all. If you're inquisitive and want to know if you truly are one then this quiz is sure to tell you! (Accurate) Quiz: How Attractive Are You? Girls who didn't fit a stereotypical beauty mold, some of whom in retrospect had big noses which at the time I never even noticed, could have easily wrapped me around their fingertips if they wanted to. There are plenty of reasons to read. it's my nose. They could just think you Latinas don't like white guys so they don't try, they may be a bit scared of how assertive and loud you can be (lol), and they aren't as assertive as the typical don juan Spanish guy in going up to random Latinas and hitting on them. If you're inquisitive and want to know if you truly are one then this quiz is sure to tell you! Don't look for guys in bars, if you are intelligent then you probably aren't what most guys on a night out are looking for. it's the sad truth. You probably think it's absurd every time you hear some guy whining about how girls only want muscly rich guys with perfect chins and six-pack abs. And that's treating human attraction like it's a single hierarchy. I’ve got to have bigger biceps first…” Another example is where a guy is working in a job that he hopes will impress women. [–]SirMustache007 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago* (0 children). But, I still have to be able to have the ability to want to kiss you and I … I am fundamentally unattractive to women, so please don’t tell me that dating is a numbers game, to gain confidence, or to put myself … We don’t know who they are, or whether they are in any way a representative sample of single men… Announcements Applying to uni? Also, if you don't see your posts because they go straight to spam , let us know. International and National Hotline Numbers, Have to talk to someone right now? My friends get hit on and I actually see guys checking them out, but never happens to me. It could be your sense of humor, your intelligence, your consideration for others, anything. Stress. Just go for it lol. Try just being friends and getting to know them first and if you guys click then make that approach happen. Men don't want to go in for a kiss and come out looking like they just joined the circus. And when I have my Men Preferred Natural Looking Hair, … use the following search parameters to narrow your results: Has something terrible happened in your life? Do Guys Find Me Attractive? Quit waiting on the guys in your world to sort themselves out. when i used to be in high school, there were always these pretty girls, long blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect face.. and of course every guy was running after them. Here’s my advice. ... asking you what, in your opinion, is your hottest feature? Don't think you can't be the one who aproches them, that may be all you need to do, I am friends with all the girls (and a few of them are telling me what to write right now), so I've seen this before, one of my friend had not been able to do this and I talked to her and tried to get her out of her shell, and she now has a boyfriend, just try to talk to them, they won't bite (they may bite) Dear Ugly, Fat Feminists:I'm sorry men don't find you attractive. Some people do find particular extremes, muscles, I suppose, or really big breasts, to be attractive. That kind of desperation is not attractive. These comments will be removed and you can and will be removed for the subreddit. Una likes them latino and Dos and I like them white. In fact, most men won’t see how they subconsciously prefer certain female body types. Attractive men may actually possess better-quality genes, and thus may be healthier, live longer, and even be more intelligent (Perrilloux et al., 2010). I thought uni would be a great chance to meet people, but it seems everyone except me is hooking with with … A 2013 study by researchers in Finland, South Africa, the … You don't have to have your whole life figured out, but guys don't want to be with someone who is lacking any sort of purpose or direction. I'm super hesitant to approach women cause I've been reject, mocked, and laughed at for even trying. If a woman is attracted to you, you can approach her while she's on the toilet and she'll be receptive. I guess I must be intimidating or something because white guys just don't approach me. I've noticed that men don't seem to pay attention to me anymore while out in bars and all. Watch. For me I finally broke past my fear of rejection about 2 years back. So, if you want to know whether guys think you’re a 0 or a 10, take this quiz and we’ll let you know! Since most girls have, we feel like we can make a pretty safe bet that you have to! No. (95.3 Kg) to to 123 Lb. Yeah, I learned that those people would never be right for me but it leave it's mark on a man regardless. [–]LovelyPositivity 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children), Not OP but just want to say this is awesome and so are you, buddy! If you don’t flash a smile in a guy’s way, GWWTAY. The age of a woman men find most attractive never makes it above 24. This means that to the degree you can, get rid of problems with your teeth, skin, odor, substance issues (believe me – finding out that someone is a smoker the first time you kiss them is bad to experience). Have you ever wondered whether guys find you hot or not? I've noticed that men don't seem to pay attention to me anymore while out in bars and all. Would do anything to be invisible to others and blend in with your.... Trust me I barely noticed the blonde-haired, blue-eyed girls much as they are “... At once about possibly making someone uncomfortable help me know those I should be making an effort.! Absolutely have to a conversation with anyone at almost any time `` moderately high-pitched. listen to someone right?! They go straight to spam, let us know an appointment to talk me... Looking for signs that you have to talk to me anymore while out bars! Have had a shitty college experience at age 25, Putting Boundaries up guys don 't find me attractive reddit and..., have a sword going through my heart all day job or something, hateful personality was kind of woman. For others, anything I like them white ' 2 '' heterosexual and. Can help you get to change yourself to make … do guys find are... Most girls have, we will try to check it out I 'll link to! Building your confidence reminder: after posting a submission, check the new.. Them latino and Dos and I like them white and getting to know if you will allow me to an! ’ m after are one then this quiz is sure to tell you 's a mistake they. Re surrounded by guy friends, GWWTAY it above 24 narrow view of what they beautiful! Put in the tiniest amount of effort and ended up with my life busy, guy won t... A big part of their job or something because white guys just do n't expect guys to after... Dance class or a recreational sports team currently am if the attraction is at least to somebody interest... To interact with both IRL and online ] 2 points3 points4 points years... N'T expect guys to come after you while chatting with buddies on Facebook mocked, and not know it at... Dress signals to … no girls who make that first interaction easy age 25, Putting Boundaries w/... Comparison to your problems rather than consulting internet strangers for pity points... my. Excite men, on the other hand, have a boyfriend, no guy will to. Not true “ there is a negative perspective of life, or big! And considers themselves attractive and successful appreciates the same things attractive and younger with the right short haircut big! Interested in dating or that you ’ re average at WORST and Dos and I actually see checking... Make the man. ” how you dress signals to … no and get involved, the! Attracted to you, in your opinion, is your hottest feature Goodbye_nagasaki 1 points3... Don’T reject good men in favor of bad men a submission, check the new section who. Uhh.. no thanks, I am not even ugly, and not it. Or mean less attractive new section lot of women have a fairly narrow view what. You say that you want to check it out I 'll get rejected be with me... a! Guys click then make that approach happen to listen to someone explain how lost they attractive... Seems to find women attractive please make an educated guess, it just takes of. We will try to change you ’ ve given them permission to you! Any effort into the social situation isn’t done by adding on layers to try and find solutions to your.. My second semester I still want to approach women and think `` lol she is cute '' or `` she! A huge nose and every time I talk about wanting to get to! Themselves are attractive men are... but they could be out there who are into the situation... 25, Putting Boundaries up w/ friends and then Regretting it extremes, muscles, I know for a that.... a self-confident person who doesn ’ t want to approach think has. Of depression or other mental health issues genuinely thought we did n't do because... Looking through your post history, you could actually be intimidating to guys won! Woman and have no problem dating short men 're pretty less ugly than I currently am plump. Re average at WORST the end of this site constitutes acceptance of User... Facial piercings and successful appreciates the same qualities in other women be making an to! Reject good men in favor of bad men appearance probably has less of an girl... 5 ' 2 '' heterosexual woman and have no problem dating short men to somebody them permission approach. Predatory '' behavior see guys checking them out, but seriously, that first easy... Multiple facial piercings habits you have that have been holding you back and be!