But here's the thing: people with anxiety are having a physical and chemical reaction to circumstances. Obviously, anxiety sucks and you want to get rid of it. For example, my husband of 18 years gets upset whenever I have trouble making a decision, but when I do make a decision even if it does not directly affect him, he will point out how it was wrong or not the right decision. Just remember to persevere. And, for better and for worse, my girlfriend does not. But because you have no control over your feelings (no matter what anyone says), trying to rid yourself of anxiety only makes it worse. It can cause distress in the relationship as a whole as well. But certainly, anxiety doesn't just stress the person that is struggling. So now you’re probably thinking, “Well if fighting my anxiety doesn’t work, am I just stuck with it forever? It has caused frustration and disconnect, but it has also caused honesty and closeness. Hey! When I was single, my anxiety only ruined my life. If you make the effort to understand, your partner will appreciate it more than you know. My anxiety has gotten so bad that my boyfriend and I aren’t right for each other even tho we are super compatible and I love him to the ends of the earth. And, secondly, it sends the message that there really is something to fear, which only fuels their anxiety… And even so, some people end up in counseling themselves to try to understand how to help themselves deal with their partner’s anxiety. I kept thinking, "Snap out of it!" It kept me off planes and at home, and I disappointed myself, but I got through it alone, unwatched. 4. Does anyone have a partner/spouse who does things that makes the anxiety worse? I used to make my partner my whole world instead of part of my world and realised it was extremely unhealthy and wearing us both down, but trying to get to that mature and healthy relationship we both want has caused this anxiety. God has used my anxiety to stretch both my husband and me. I guarantee it forces your spouse to be vulnerable, so treat them with care. This sort of thing happens to me a lot; I have anxiety. You fell in love with this person for a reason, don’t lose sight of that! My Partner Has Anxiety and I Struggle With What to Do. The worst thing you can do is shame us about our anxiety. Pray for them. 7 Tips for Supporting a Romantic Partner with Anxiety ... while writing my book Hi, Anxiety: ... will likely rev into high gear and assume that something infinitely worse is afoot. For one, she said, it gives your partner zero incentive to overcome their anxiety. Because I guarantee your spouse didn’t ask to have anxiety. They can no more snap out of their illness than you can snap out of cancer. Who could blame you? My boyfriend makes me feel worse about my anxiety.. ... My boyfriend makes me feel worse about my anxiety.. 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